its a process

A subject that often comes up at my church is the process it takes for something good to happen; a blessing, a healing, a promotion of any kind. It is often said that the process can be painful and tiring but without it, you can't grow.(No pain,No Gain right?) I am in such a process right now as I am reaching for my goals of independence,love, stardom and success. In my efforts I have found that it is just as the pastor says, a painful process. In the toughest times I find that my faith keeps me calm. I have faith in my abilities, faith in God and I believe that my dreams are a calling given to me by him. What worries me though is the faith of she who supports me, my mother.My mother is no Tina Knowles but she puts food on the table and makes sure i have a warm coat every winter yaknow? even if she knows I'll never where that big puffy thing! Seeing that i am not working and could not afford college this semester- I spend an awful lot of time in the house. My plan is to use this time to further develop my body of work, and create a fan base. With all my free time there are millions of possibilities and progress has been made. However I find myself feeling guilty for not working. My mother is a great provider and has never forced me to work but i was taught that "if a man don't work he don't eat". So you can imagine what a louse I feel when my mother comes home from a 16 hr shift at work-with groceries in hand, takes a nap then gets up and cooks a meal for me! Today i found myself snatching the broom out of her hand-she was making me look bad! Even though I did accomplish my goal for 100 viewers on a youtube video i worked really hard to make and stayed up all night promoting- those viewers didnt pay any bills yaknow? so IDK how to feel right now because anyone who was raised right wants to grow up and provide for their parents! granted im only 18 but idk its not sitting well with me- maybe I'll have to get a job just so i can be able to look at myself in the mirror- not that ive ever had trouble doing that lol

Taking over the world!!!

Its been a min, since i made a post and thats because I've been busy recording music! also I've met sum really cool gay musicians! Its so great to finally meet like minded people!!

I used to think i was such a wierdo but this year has really introduced me to some kindred spirits! This gives me a brand new idea!!

It has always been my plan to become a famous singer. As i got older i not only want to sing i wanted to deliver a message- In finding myself i found that my message is one of self confidence,self expression, freedom and equality- especially for the kidz! I thought i was gonna have to change the world by myself but now i know I've got company!

I want to create a network of gay singers dancers and artist of all kind! The idea is for us to collectively support one another- therefor furthuring each others careers- as well as advancing the status quo of gay artist!- Collaborations galore!

To do this we must all understand that success for one of us can open doors for all of us!- i always pray"while on others thou art calling do not pass me by" and thats the mentality- when one of us has a show we all come to it and network! and promote for one another!

We should put all our contacts and resources on the table so that we can come up together! If we share dancers, producers, writers etc. Everyone gets to do what they love- and often!

it doesnt stop there- while creating a gay buzz about the city we also create change!- As we develop fanbases we help to eliminate- homophobia! You cant teach someone to hate what they idolize right? The same way white kids love hip hop- we can get straight people to love our work and love us as a people- It worked for artist like james brown during the civil rights movement-jazz and blues and hip hop are all influential in the advancement of black people! We can do it too! who's with me!?!?

WARM/SHADE- the it couple!

Nowadays its easy to give up on love, the idea of real love and finding that one special someone! but it does happen! I have Proof!-Jerrod and Billy(above) are celebrating their one year anniversary! In this world, at their age -that's almost impossible- so a round of applause is in order! These two have what it takes! its inspiring to see their dynamic!- and sickening to see how well they know each other! -ugh!- They also know whats important- that hard times will come and everyday won't be easy- but they get the big picture! Whats their secret? Hell i don't know!

But I've seen first hand that they don't stress over little things, because at the end of the day its never worth loosing one another! Congratulations Jerrod and Billy! ya know I love You! And I'm sure You'll have many more years to come- Cuz well, I'll tie U two together and lock u in a pyramid if i have to! May Jerrod stay thick enough to keep You Warm and Billy stay tall enough to give u Shade lol Cheers!

Someone U Should Know!

This birthday boy is a showstopper! Currently attending Roosevelt University majoring in theatre. This handsome hunk is much more than a pretty face! Having seen his performance as "Ms.Roj" in person, let me tell u talent and beauty has never mixed so well since...well ME lol. To top it off he's a real down to earth- fun loving- Christian! how did the rainbow get so lucky!? hat's off to who ever "Puts a Ring on it" Micah Armani is quite the catch, and someone u should know!

CROSS OVER- RnB IS DEAD!

Has anybody noticed that RnB music is gone! Name one Rnb artist who still sings Rnb
I was all for it when Beyonce branched out into different Genres on her latest cd- I raised an eyebrow though when she released techno mixes tho!- I should have saw it comin when that country group redid irreplaceable! and now with the release of new music from Rhianna, Chris brown and alicia keys- I'm wondering what happend to soul music- even jennifer hudsons album was...commercial, i will hand it to chrissette michele and trey songz and usher i suppose for keepin black music alive, but its slim pickings- I miss the soul- Beyonce aint even sing dangerously in love on her tour- She sung Ave Maria- And In the arms of an agel- this is some b.s- i want Soul back on the top 40! things gettin real blue eyed in the music scene!

check out the selloutness goin on in music below!
chris brown-http://www.zshare.net/audio/67287026abfe9c5e/
rhianna-http://rihannanow.com/
Alicia- http://www.aliciakeys.com/

CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!!

So i walked into the computer lab at school today and instantly saw one of my friends i went and said hi and then found myself a seat. Seconds later a guy across the room blurted out that he was "living" for my hair! i said thanks as i noticed his fine group of friends...a while passed when my friend came over to tell me how much he didn't like the guy who liked my hair! arrrg! i hate when that happens! I like having sexy friends- but ever so often i find that the sexy gays don't like other sexy gays! i want us to just be one happy-SEXY- family- adopt some sexy gay babies lol carry around are sexy gay puppies yaknow !? so the next time u run into another sexy gay- don't be shy- say hi show the love! cuz its been my experience that their checkin u out the same way you're checkin them...it's a sexy thang!

Quote of the day

It was easy to get Over U

Cuz U were always beneath me!

by: tonyjones